Nothing about this month worked out the way I wanted it to.
Remember when I said I was taking August off from all my other projects to get The Witch’s Patron ready to publish?
I started out strong; I combed through my beta feedback, made notes throughout my manuscript, identified places that need work, and outlined a bunch of sections I need to add. I was feeling so good about my progress and direction!
But when the time came to do the writing I just… stalled.
After those first couple weeks I just couldn’t find the motivation to write or revise. First there was the fact that I had something going on virtually every weekend of the month, then I wound up spending two weeks in pain from a floor hockey tournament gone wrong, fighting off an infection, and grappling with a flare up in my depression. Still, when I did have time and desire to write, it was never for The Witch’s Patron. I started to feel guilty because I had set aside the time to work on this one project; I wasn’t supposed to be working on anything else! So instead of writing what I was inspired to write I just… didn’t write at all.
I wound up doing a lot of “productive procrastination”, working on art and opening my commissions instead of writing. If felt good to be doing something, but as August drew to an end I started to feel like the entire month had been a waste of time.
So, what did I learn from this failed experiment?
Putting strict parameters on my creativity does not work for me.
I would have been better off if I had just let myself work on whatever I was most inspired by in the moment than forcing myself into a box.
Which is why, moving forward, I’m going to do exactly that.
Yes, I’d still like to have The Witch’s Patron polished by the time I go to the Surrey International Writer’s Conference at the end of October, but not at the detriment of my other projects or my own happiness. I want to enjoy the ride again and not feel guilty about what I am or a not doing.
So, there you have it, folks – I’m back to my regularly scheduled programming. Here’s hoping loosening the reigns will help me get back on track!